On Monday, I decided to drive out to the YMCA to renew my
membership for this coming year. I
pulled into the parking lot and it was filled with cars- not one parking space
was available. I kept driving around the parking lot, searching for a space.
As I kept driving in circles, I noticed more and more cars
entering the parking lot. It was like a
mass convention was taking place that morning and it was only 9 am.
This whole scene reminded me of my life. So many challenges- so many problems, no
spaces open, and more problems entering en mass – an overwhelming life- the
type of life you might expect with cancer.
In reality, though, my life is simple- and aggravating at
the same time. It is filled with anger-
and joy. You know, like everyone else’s.
I am not a joiner- I don’t join every lung cancer awareness
group around. I read their
literature. I contribute. One of them is always asking me to ‘tell my
story’.
Guess what? I am
tired of ‘my story’. I write these
posts in order to let others with cancer know they are not alone and don’t have
to be positive all the time. I write
these posts so others with cancer know that it is damn OK to be selfish with
your time and resources.
I write these posts and participate in clinical trials out
of pure selfishness. It helps me more
than anyone who reads or participates in them. Very few do,
and you know what – that is OK too.
I write these posts for myself and for those who deal with
cancer on a daily basis and sometimes feel guilty that they are surviving when
others are not.
Most importantly, I write these posts to kick myself in the
butt every morning- to say HELLO world I am still here and kicking- and I hope
all of you are too!
